MOVIE REVIEW: "THE WATCHMEN"

THE WATCHMEN

By: Lee Rice

In an industry already inundated with comic book movies, it seems rather odd that "Watchmen," the supposedly unadaptable graphic novel by comics guru Alan Moore, ever got made.

Back in the 1980’s, Moore decided to challenge pretty much every comic book stereotype known to man, exploring not only what the world would be like if superheroes existed, but asking what those heroes might actually be like.

His answer to those questions was the dark, nihilistic, and utterly fantastic "Watchmen," which portrayed the heroes as a group of psychos, fetishists, and violent vigilantes looking for a way to set the world straight. The novel is considered a classic today, but with its complex narrative, the use of flashbacks and excerpts from fictional books within the "Watchmen" universe, nobody ever thought this film could, or for that matter would, be made.

Enter Zack Snyder.

If the name sounds familiar, it’s because he helmed the recent remake of "Dawn of the Dead," and more importantly an adaptation of Frank Miller’s graphic novel, "300."

I was a huge fan of "300," and it seems that Snyder has managed to work his magic again, giving us "Watchmen" in a way that still manages to stand on its own two feet despite the 160 minute running time, and a few notably bad performances from the cast.

The film is beautifully shot, and the performances by Jackie Earle Hailey and Billy Crudup as Rorsharch and Dr. Manhattan are both excellent, and meet head on with the tone of the graphic novel.

The visuals are absolutely beautiful, although they don’t quite reach the level of quality we saw with "300," but that is perfectly acceptable.

Although it is usually well acted and always good looking, there are a few major problems with "Watchmen," namely that it seems to sag under the weight of the original material while not delivering quite as much punch, and the sprawling, non-linear narrative leads to a slightly meandering pace that feels rather top heavy, with the murder that sends the rest of the plot into motion on page one, and the rest of the plot not starting until about a half hour later.

Also, the music choices sometimes feel out of place, and there is one sex scene that seems like it goes on for waaaaaay to long. Seriously, I’m no prude and it made even ME uncomfortable.

On a final note, NOBODY should bring their children to see this movie.

This isn’t Spider-Man.

This isn’t the Dark Knight.

This isn’t Captain friggin’ Kangaroo.

There is sex, violence, bloodshed, an exploration of the more twisted side of morality, and Dr. Manhattan has a giant glowing blue schlong.

In line, I overheard one guy with his ten year old daughter say he had read about 10 pages of the novel and that his daughter loved superhero movies.

Two hours and forty minutes later, I watched them both walk out looking like they had just witnessed the bombing of Dresden.

You have been warned.

Final Verdict: B-

You can e-mail Lee at leslierice60@webster.edu