Yes, I said it, and I stand by it. I am a woman with a penis, a chick with a dick.
Now that I have that out of the way, I would like to take a moment and elaborate on that, on queer identity, and maybe respond to a bit of the buzz I have heard regarding my last article.
First, let me filter down the spirit behind my statements even further than before—Live your truth. There it is, three words that sum up the entire ethos behind my words. When I wrote those words, I was speaking to my truth, my identity, my lived experience. Nobody else but me need claim ownership of that, nobody else can. Which for starters means that my self identification does not give anyone but me the right to call me such things, and it certainly does not give anyone the right to cast that identity on any other member of my community.
I do not want to hear someone tossing that term around then saying, Claire said it was okay. Identification does not work in that manner. I am not even condoning the use of that term to describe me, though I would accept it in certain situations. Actually, it might even be quite hot in the right context. You would have to at least buy me a drink before we discuss that further. So, no, this is not a new term for the trans* community, and it does not give you free reign to use terms like tranny, or shemale either, at least not on the community level, and even personally, not without that drink we discussed earlier. If you were trying to spot the theme there, it is rather simple.
One: Identity is personal and can only be claimed by the individual for themselves. We never have the right to identify others, others never have the right to identify us.
Two: Some identity is public, some is private. I actually took what is a very private identity for me and made it very public. I did so to illustrate a point, and a point that I could only make using my own identity, because I have no right to discuss anyone else. I am sure I will face some consequences for that, and I accepted that the moment I submitted the article.
Three: Some terms of identification are potentially hurtful, and can thus only be used by those who own that identity. As a trans*woman I can use the term chick with a dick, or even tranny or shemale, and then only when describing myself not my entire community. Members of other communities have no right to those words. By the same token, if a gay male chooses to self identify with the F word, he has every right. I will never use that term, as I have no right to it. This is precisely what we mean by self-identification. We should always address others in respectful terms, we can identify ourselves however we like.
That said, I would like to address some of the buzz I created. First let me say that I find it a bit amazing that I am receiving more positive feedback than negative. In response to that positive feedback, I offer a sincere thank you. But, I do want to stress again that all I ever did was speak my truth, the truth I live everyday. I would like to ask all of you who looked at that in positive light to endeavor to do the same. Whatever your identity, whatever your passion, whatever your truth, I urge you to live it and speak it. I will always affirm you in that, and if my experiences are any indication, so will a very large portion of our LGBT community. Authenticity breeds respect, even from those who may disagree. Sure there will always be vocal opponents, jerks who will deny you your truth or chastise you for it. But, all they are really doing is forcing their notions of identity upon you, and they can be nothing but wrong in doing so. Most of our community seems to understand that and will be there for you. Change starts with each of us. If we wish to eliminate the annoying little boxes of identity the world stuffs us into, we better start kicking at the walls.
As to those who voiced some objection to my words, I also offer you a sincere thank you. Disliking such terminology is a part of your truth, and so long as you speak for only you, I respect and affirm that. However, I would point out that I have made a strong effort to implicate only myself with that terminology. I speak for me, the only person I can ever know well enough to speak for. And I accept that you speak for you, and I take your identity for exactly what you say it is. I will never place an identity marker on you or anyone else. So long as you never place one on me, and never attempt to stop me from using one for myself, we should be able to disagree respectfully and coexist without a bunch of silly arguments. That is really all I ask for. It is essential to this larger concept of queer ethos. That is the -allow others the same privilege- part of the equation.
The reality is, LGBT is a cluster of four umbrella terms. Beneath them exists more subgroups and unique identities than could ever be listed. We need to be okay with that, in fact we need to celebrate that. My identity will never take away from anyone else, and nobodies identity can ever take away from mine. But, if we all learn to accept diversity within our community, we will find that all of our identities do add to one another to make a larger, more beautiful whole.
BY: CLAIRE LOUISE SWINFORD
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